please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
