He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize