i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
