Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Randomize
