my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Randomize
