Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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