Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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