I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize