I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
We have started to decorate penises.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
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