is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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