I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
