Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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