he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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