I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I intend to get homeless drunk
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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