Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
