I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize
