Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
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