I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Randomize