I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
