gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
