just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Randomize
