This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
