There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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