I want to stick my p in your. b.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Randomize
