she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
