sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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