I want to walk on stilts...naked
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
