Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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