walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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