do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Randomize