Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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