Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Randomize
