I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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