I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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