i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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