it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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