Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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