Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Randomize
