I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
