You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
