you turned your livingroom into a bong?
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
