A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
i think im in europe. pls send help
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
