Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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