The panties match.
I'll be right there.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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