I want to walk on stilts...naked
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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