now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
