If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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