I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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