how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
