My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Randomize
