whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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