I want to make a zoo with you.
The best revenge is premature balding
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
