Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
