It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
