Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
