Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Dear god my vagina.
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