I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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