Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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