Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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