oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
