But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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