Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
