we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
