I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
