youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
