I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize