one word: firstdatebathroomanal
well you can't waste a boner
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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