Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
